Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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