YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
