she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
