I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
