she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize