There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
