Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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