fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm gonna fight the coyote
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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