Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
