They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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