he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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