can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
