Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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