I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
