At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
