so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
