Your tits are I can't wait for
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
