i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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