You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I see more hoeing in ur future
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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