I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
