You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
