Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize