Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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