summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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