He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The dick lei will go down in squad history
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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