So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So vagazzling was a success
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
