And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
