She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
