I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
