you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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