No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
