i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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