Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she told me i tasted like america
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize