its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
