first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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