so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
