I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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