i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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