how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm getting married
To pizza
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
