So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
