And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
