thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
