can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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