Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
