Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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