It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
