I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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