try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
