Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
