I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
