You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
