the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
