Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
