i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
