Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
