Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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