she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
