So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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