I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
