"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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