I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
