I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My vagina is officially offended.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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