Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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