Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
the liver wants what the liver wants
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
