As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize