It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im holly from the hills drunk
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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