Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize