I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
