SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
