i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
